Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you reacted impulsively without taking the time to think about your actions or words? Or have you ever been in a situation where you responded thoughtfully and calmly, even in the face of stress or conflict? These two scenarios highlight the difference between reaction and response. I am narrating a story told by the Alphabet CEO, Sundar Pichai at a Google I/O conference.

The Story

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach.

Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but it landed on another lady in the group. Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama.

The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the movement of the cockroach on his shirt. At the opportune juncture, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant.

The Question

What made the difference between the lady’s group and the waiter? Was it the cockroach itself that caused the disturbance? Yes, to some extent. But the deeper insight lies in how each individual responded to the unexpected intrusion.

The Inference

The ladies reacted instinctively, driven by fear and discomfort. Their inability to manage their emotions created chaos. In contrast, the waiter responded thoughtfully. He assessed the situation calmly, took decisive action, and restored order without drama.

Understanding Reaction vs Response

The essence of this anecdote lies in understanding the distinction between reaction and response. Reacting is instinctive and often driven by emotions like fear, anger, or panic. It tends to escalate situations and can lead to regrettable actions or words. On the other hand, responding involves thoughtfulness and poise. It requires assessing the situation, considering options, and then choosing a course of action that is measured and effective.