What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.

In an era where every sneeze is met with suspicion and toilet paper is hoarded like gold, some parents are taking an unusual approach to immortalize the pandemic—by naming their children after it. Yes, you read that right. While most of us are busy perfecting our sourdough recipes or binge-watching another Netflix series, these new parents are ensuring their kids never forget the year that turned the world upside down.

Take, for instance, the proud father Omveer Singh from India, who decided to name his newborn son Sanitiser. That’s right, little Sanitiser Singh. Omveer believes this is his family’s way of contributing to the pandemic narrative. “Whenever people talk of Corona, they will remember that it was sanitiser that saved them,” he said, presumably while stockpiling hand gel in his garage.

Sanitiser is not alone in his germ-fighting nomenclature. Just days earlier, another set of parents welcomed baby girl Corona into the world. Now, before you jump to conclusions, Corona was once an acceptable name, given its Spanish translation meaning “crown.” But now, poor Corona is destined to explain to her classmates that she was not named after the virus but, well, during it.

Not to be outdone, one father took inspiration from the quarantine measures and christened his son Lockdown. Yes, Lockdown Bauri. If nothing else, this name will serve as a permanent reminder of the days when we all learned to bake bread and held Zoom meetings in pyjama bottoms. “We named him Lockdown remembering all the problems we had to face during this tough time,” the father, Sanjay Bauri, proudly stated. Because what better way to celebrate overcoming challenges than by saddling your child with a name that screams “social distancing”?

The creativity doesn’t stop there. An Indian couple welcomed twins and decided to name them Corona and COVID. Why settle for one pandemic-themed name when you can have two? Corona and Covid arrived on March 27 at B.R. Ambedkar Memorial Hospital, possibly making them the only twins whose names will require a lengthy explanation in every history class.

Further adding to the roster, two mothers in southeastern India, apparently encouraged by a rather mischievous doctor, named their babies Corona Kumar and Corona Kumari. I can only imagine the future conversations:

“Hi, I’m Corona.”

“Oh, you too? I’m Corona!”

“No way, me three!”

Let’s not forget about Skylab Singh, named after the United States’ first space station which dramatically re-entered Earth’s atmosphere in 1979. This isn’t a new phenomenon; it seems some parents have always been inclined to mark historical events in the most permanent way possible—through their children’s names.

The tradition continues with notable examples such as MK Stalin and Adolf Lu Hitler Marak, proving that when it comes to names, India is nothing if not tolerant. Or perhaps just very, very optimistic.

So, here’s to Corona, Covid, Lockdown, and Sanitiser—a group of kids destined for unique introductions and endless explanations. May they live healthy, happy lives, and may their names serve as a reminder of the time when the world went a little bit mad.

In the meantime, I’ll just be over here, hoping no one decides to name their kid “Toilet Paper Shortage.”